通过范例了解文书essay写作，你学到了吗？

　　文书在申请中的重要性已经不需要赘言。而对许多学生来说，写申请文书都是令人望而生畏的一件事。

　　不过，一些小提示、对提交文书的目的以及招生官对文书的看法的了解，可以缓解申请者在写文书这一环节所面对的压力。今天的内容是由几位招生官分享的在申请中脱颖而出的文书范例，而这些文书之所以能脱颖而出，是因为学生们表达的内容非常出彩，能够帮助学校更好地了解他们。而对于学校来说，文书最重要的作用就是让学校通过你的表达方式和表达的内容了解你是一个什么样的人。文书写作不仅涉及主题的选择，更关键地是，你怎么表达这一主题。招生官希望申请者能够通过展示（show）自己，让自己的个性、形象跃然文书上，让人更了解你，而不是直接说（tell）你是一个什么的人。

　　纽约汉密尔顿学院招生管理副总裁Monica Inzer说，对她来说，好的文书essay写作能让她了解到申请者在其他申请材料中没有体现出的特点或个性。

　　Inzer指出，对很多学生来说，找到自己想表达的内容可能是一个挑战。因为学生的生活经历有限，而且，在此之前，他们写的东西都是按照老师的提示和指导完成的，直到这一次，学生才完全靠自己来完成一篇关于自己的文章。自己想写的内容意味着学生必须了解自己，并且写出的文章读起来可信，这样才能让招生官更了解自己。

　　汉密尔顿学院在其招生页面上列出了多篇由被录取的学生撰写的文书。我们为大家摘录了这篇通过Flying Fishing来展示自己个性和学术兴趣的文书：

　　I kept a firm grip on the rainbow trout as I removed the lure from its lip.Then,my heart racing with excitement,I lowered the fish to the water and watched it flash away.

　　I remained hooked.

　　I caught that 10-inch fryling five years ago on Fall Creek using a$5 fly rod given to me by my neighbor Gil.The creek is spectacular as it cascades down the 150-foot drop of Ithaca Falls.Only 100-feet further,however,it runs past a decrepit gun factory and underneath a graffitied bridge before flowing adjacent to my high school and out to Cayuga Lake.Aside from the falls,the creek is largely overlooked.Nearly all of the high school students I know who cross that bridge daily do so with no thought of the creek below.

　　When I was a toddler,my moms say I used to point and ask,“What?What?What?”Even now my inquisitive nature is obvious.Unlike my friends,I had noticed people fly fishing in Fall Creek.Mesmerized by their graceful casts,I pestered Gil into teaching me.From that first thrilling encounter with a trout,I knew I needed to catch more.I had a new string of questions.I wanted to understand trout behavior,how to find them,and what they ate.There was research to do.

　　I devoted myself to fly fishing.I asked questions.I woke up at 4 a.m.to fish before school.I spent days not catching anything.Yet,I persisted.The Kid’s Book of Fishing was replaced by Norman MacLean’s A River Runs Through It.Soon Ernest Hemingway’s essays found their place next to Trout Unlimited magazines by my bed.

　　I sought teachers.I continued to fish with Gil,and at his invitation joined the local Trout Unlimited Chapter.I enrolled in a fly-tying class.

　　There I met Ken,a soft-spoken molecular biologist,who taught me to start each fly I make by crimping the hook to reduce harm to fish,and Mike,a sarcastic Deadhead lawyer,who turns over rocks at all times of year to“match the hatch”and figure out which insects fish are eating.Thanks to my mentors,I can identify and create almost every type of Northeastern mayfly,caddisfly,and stonefly.

　　The more I learned,the more protective I felt of the creek and its inhabitants.My knowledge of mayflies and experience fishing in many New York streams led me to notice the lack of Blue-Winged Olive Mayflies in Fall Creek.I figured out why while discussing water quality in my AP Biology class;lead from the gun factory had contaminated the creek and ruined the mayfly habitat.Now,I participate in stream clean-up days,have documented the impact of invasive species on trout and other native fish,and have chosen to continue to explore the effects of pollutants on waterways in my AP Environmental Science class.

　　Last year,on a frigid October morning,I started a conversation with the man fishing next to me.Banks,I later learned,is a contemporary artist who nearly died struggling with a heroin addiction.When we meet on the creek these days we talk about casting techniques,aquatic insects,and fishing ethics.We also talk about the healing power of fly fishing.I know Banks would agree with Henry David Thoreau,who wrote“[Many men]lay so much stress on the fish which they catch or fail to catch,and on nothing else,as if there were nothing else to be caught.”

　　Initially,my goal was to catch trout.What I landed was a passion.Thanks to that first morning on Fall Creek,I’ve found a calling that consumes my free time,compels me to teach fly fishing to others,and drives what I want to study in college.

　　I will be leaving Fall Creek soon.I am eager to step into new streams.

　　简评：这位同学描述了最初如何喜欢上Flying Fishing（一种钓鱼的方式），后来逐渐在Flying Fishing的过程中对和Flying Fishing相关的生物、环境知识产生了浓厚兴趣，并付诸实践去做课外阅读、研究，将自己的兴趣和课堂知识进行紧密的联系。文章一开头的场景描写，非常引人入胜，让读者产生读下去的兴趣，而读完之后，你发现文章并不是讲钓鱼，而是讲学生的学术兴趣，他的形象变得立体起来。另外，文章最后作者用new streams来呼应前文提到的家乡的Fall Creek，表达出了希望进入大学这个新环境去探索更多知识和可能的愿望，非常精妙。

　　约翰霍普金斯大学本科招生主任Ellen Kim说：“你可以把申请文书文章看作是申请的灵魂。我们知道学生通过在高中几年里付出的极大努力为自己打造了强有力的申请硬件条件，不过，在招生官眼里，你自己的表达和观点将非常有助于让招生官了解你会为我们的课堂、社团和整个社区带来什么。文书为学生提供了生动地展示自己的机会，招生委员会不会倾向于了解学生的某个方面，因为学生写自己真正想写的内容来让我们更了解他们才是最重要的。”

　　除了主文书之外，一些大学还要求学生写补充文书。通常情况下，相比主文书，这些文书要求的篇幅较短（有的字数要求和主文书差不太多），主要回答各大学提出的具体问题。虽然被称为补充文书，但在有些学校眼中，补充文书的地位并不比主文低。因为补充文书是学校根据本校的情况，量身定制的题目，申请者对于这些题目的反馈，更有助于学校了解学生是否适合自己。比如学校很想知道学生的学术兴趣（很多学生可能不会在主文书写到这一点），这时，学校定制的补充文书就很重要了。

　　以下这篇关于学生对政治和法律哲学的热爱的补充文章是一个很好的例子：

　　Last year in my Constitutional Law class,I fell in love with political and legal philosophy.Sexy,right?

　　Maybe not,but I loved the rules,the structure,and the big questions that surrounded organizing a government.I thought about these things constantly—while brushing my teeth,doing chores,and driving to school.Unable to take this beloved course a second time,I chose my senior classes with more than a touch of melancholy.I was skeptical that even the most appealing humanities class,AP Literature,would be anything but anticlimactic by comparison.I'd become so accustomed to reading the function-focused writings of Locke,Rousseau,Madison,Thoreau,that I found it difficult to see"literature"as anything more than mere stories.I wanted substance that I could actually do something with,and I didn't expect to find it in AP Lit.

　　Settling down to read our first assigned book,Sophocles'Antigone,I was apathetic.We'd done a pre-reading exercise earlier in class and I'd gathered that Antigone was just the sad story of a wannabe-martyr-descendant-of-Oedipus who crosses the wrong king,dies,breaks her fiance's heart with her death,leading him,and her would-be mother-in-law by extension,to suicide,blah,blah,blah.I fanned the pages with my thumb,checked the time(10:15 p.m.),and willed myself to make it through the first ten pages without falling asleep.

　　Rousseau's familiar skepticism of an unchecked ruler,Locke's notions of natural rights philosophy,and Thoreau's willingness to violate immoral laws.Wait—this was a literature class,and yet here was Sophocles articulating the same concerns of the Framers of the Constitution(hundreds of years before any of them were born).

　　Antigone has become my favorite book because it wraps political and legal theory around complex characters and a compelling narrative.Prior to reading Antigone,I assumed that if I hadn't read every book that pertained to the architecture of US government,I had at least heard of them.But I was so mistaken.Antigone proved this assumption wrong because Antigone itself was a case study in the actual consequences of ideas discussed by political philosophers.In other words,Antigonehumanized the esoteric and function-driven debates I'd studied last year.Witnessing Haemon cradle his dead fiance in his arms,then subsequently kill himself before his father's eyes,allowed me to see all of the ideas I'd spent hours considering as not purely political questions,but as human ones.Finishing the play,I was ashamed that I'd harbored such skepticism at the outset of my reading.My experience with Antigone reminds me why I get excited each time I use calculus in physics or art in cooking,and I look forward to a lifetime of making these connections.

　　简评：学生开头点题，说明自己对political and legal philosophy的兴趣。大量的细节描写和引用让文章非常有说服力。虽然学生在高三这一年没有类似课程可选，但是他却通过自己的洞察力，在看上去毫不相关的文学作品中发现了自己感兴趣的内容。通过这篇文书，我们可以看出作者的学术兴趣、他在这方面的思考，以及他将各类知识融汇贯通的能力。

　　上面这篇补充文书大约450 words，在补充文书里篇幅算是比较长的。很多学校的补充文书要求字数在250 words，更短的甚至要求100 words。大家可以阅读下面这篇文书：

　　Using a flimsy piece of printer paper,I remember folding my first paper crane.Reading instructions off a dusty origami book from my basement,my fingers fumbled with the paper,folding,unfolding,refolding,and possibly some frustration-induced crumpling.Nearly an hour later,with little creases scattered across its body and a misaligned beak,it was clear that origami wasn't a natural talent of mine.

　　Despite its deformities,there was an endearing quality to the bird I couldn't quite explain.After sixteen folds,it resembled the paper only in color and material.I would fold countless other designs,until my room was covered with creations from simple paper boats to intricate seven part lotus flowers.

　　The joy I found in origami lied in the fact that I had the freedom to invent anything;with each fold,creativity flowed through my fingers,converting curiosity of the potential of each fold into an irrepressible desire to create more.It is what motivated me to read about 2D kinematics to win a projectile motion challenge,and understand the chemistry behind qualitative analysis of cations for a lab.

　　Everything I could ever want to know and more is right at my fingertips.From the change in weight I feel in a moving elevator,to the chemical reactions that cause the plastic stars in my room to glow,science is a field that permeates every single aspect of life.I know my curiosity to understand the world around me nurtures my love for science.

　　简评：这篇文书由塔夫茨大学分享，作者通过不到250 words的篇幅，描述了她的折纸爱好，虽然不是每次都能达到自己想要的效果，但是她没有放弃，一直努力改进。在倒数第二段，文章非常自然地过渡到对科学的思考，体现了作者的创造力和巧思。并且，我们都知道了这位同学非常爱好科学。

　　结束语：

　　无论是主文书还是补充文书，学生在写作时，都应该遵循同样的原则，即耐心地去探索自己最想表达的内容，写对个人而言最重要的主题，向招生官展示自己。

　　另外，校对也非常重要，老师和朋友都可以帮你指出文章的问题。让他们读你的文章，并反馈意见。

　　强有力的文书当然会提升你的申请条件，但是大学对申请者的审核是综合的，不会因为某一方面的突出表现而录取，也不会因为某一个短板而拒录。所以大家应该重视申请的各每个环节和部分，只有这样，才能取得最理想的结果。